A slower kind of closeness

There is another way of loving that feels calmer, more deliberate, and quieter in a culture that is rapid with intimacy and loud about desire. It is based on focus rather than self-control or fear. On making the decision to stay, even when nothing is being taken, and to get to know someone before reaching for them.

I want you to love me as though our relationship isn't centered on my physique. As though desire could exist in the absence of urgency. Love me as if getting to know me is more important than getting to me. My inner life, my thoughts, and my habits are what continue to draw us closer.

We don't have to rush into sex in order to be truly bonded. Let intimacy resemble breathing together and getting to know one another's rhythms. Let's gradually blend together, our lives intertwining, growing comfortable, and becoming secure. Hold my hand as though it were a pledge rather than an introduction. As though this little deed is sufficient.

Don't tell me I'm beautiful in a moment that leads to somewhere. When nothing else is going on, let me know. When the room is silent, look at me and see everything that lies beneath the surface: the becoming, the softness, the history. Love me with lingering eyes rather than rushing hands.

Intimacy that only communicates during intimate moments is not what I want. The kind that grows in the regular ones is what I want. Tell me about your anxieties in a whisper. Tell me about the ideas you don't refine before sharing. For the parts of you that are still uncertain, have faith in me. The choice to be seen without performance is where intimacy rests.

Make a presence commitment to me. Make a kind promise to me. Make me a promise that what we're creating won't rely on intensity to endure. Let's build something based on mutual support, fun, and the tranquil assurance that neither of us is going anywhere.

Love can sometimes be as simple as being motionless. Seated close enough to sense each other's breathing. letting our souls discover each other without hurrying. Let that be sufficient. Let that be revered.

Give me a gentle kiss. Hold me with purpose. Let love be abundant but unarmed. Desire does not go away in this type of love; instead, it waits, softens, and listens. It becomes a part of something bigger.

Love me deeply. Beyond habit. Above and beyond expectations. Love me by paying attention to my thoughts, feelings, and giving. Get to know me completely—my compassion, my boundaries, and my tenderness.

Love me slowly, then.

Love me on purpose.

Love me in a way that doesn't require evidence.

Love develops as it should in this setting when presence is closeness, and attentiveness is dedication.